Week 5’s focus is on taking risk to get what we want. The experiential part of it is doing the ROPEs course. Given my level of physical fitness this was a great challenge. My goal was to participate in every event to the best of my ability.
Before we started the events we had a discussion on what our individual purposes were. Pam was committed to leadership and confidence. Robert was committed to letting Robbie out. Each of us had our own focus. Mine was to hesitate less between the time I commit to doing something and the time I do it. I have a habit of deciding to do something and then second guessing or trying to make sure that everything is perfect so that there is no risk to me. My goal was to trust myself to the point that I would make a decision and then go on with it, without analysis paralysis!
Our first event was a mental challenge with figuring patterns and moving 4 of us from one side to the other following some rules. I was competent here because it was fairly cerebral. Once we figured out the pattern we did it again, with only Pam talking as she guided us through the steps. It took a number of tries, but they say we got it relatively fast.
We moved from there to a big swing. You are strapped in to the swing seat and given some extra protection. Then our team pulls a rope that pulls you forward and up, way up! At the top, when you hit the pulley, you declare your next step and release the slip knot. It frees you to swing backward to Oregon (well, it seemed like it) and then forward and backward.
I was nervous but as soon as there was a hesitation (3rd one) I volunteered and got harnessed. I then went up to the swing and Adam helped me in. This was the first time that I experienced the disadvantage of my weight. My excess stomach made it necessary to tighten the swing. It was very uncomfortable and meant that instead of holding on to the metal bar I had to hold on to the metal cable to keep from falling backward.
They started pulling me up and I made the first commitment to my purpose of acting deliberately and promptly. As soon as I got to the top I declared, “I am going to promote myself and my workshops and each one of you deserve the blessing of attending them.” I then let go of the knot and thought I was going to die. The cable was vibrating my palms something terrible and I was flying back toward Oregon! I held on for dear life, keeping my stomach tight against the bar. It was the most incredible swing I’ve ever been on. Mostly it was enjoyable except for the nausea, but regardless of any sensations, I made a commitment and followed up promptly!
Next we went to the Dragon Lair. We were all on a round wooden isle with dragon dung that would kill us all around. About 15 feet in front of us was a rope (uh Dragon hair), and fifteen feet beyond it was a very tiny gold door (small piece of wood) that we were to all get to safely so that we could escape the dragon. We could use the resources we had with us and had 20 minutes to get everyone safely there. We started out rather carelessly, but smart. We took belts, strapped then together. put my keys on the end for added weight and got ready to twirl them at the rope. We carelessly let one end touch the dragon stuff and lost all of them. In the meantime, we also had two people step to close to the edge. They were taken away.
By this time Jamie had been to me personally, and probably even one else, too, saying, “How can you guarantee your success.” He would go on to say that numerous times and I heard the words each time, but didn’t get it for quite a while yet. We managed to get the rope using shoelaces and got Pam across safely. We decided to get me over next as my size posed a challenge. Jamie again asked about guaranteeing our success. I jumped up and started to swing, but never got my feet on the rope note and came off half way there. We stopped the exercise at that point and they pointed out how careless we had been. They then told us that as soon as we lost the first person we were all gone. They asked us to think about this as life and death.
We started the second time and were much more careful of each other and worked together better. We got Pam across again and then a couple of others. We then decided that Diana and I were next ones to cross over. We were beginning to get that we needed to do something different, but still didn’t really get the whole guarantee your success concept. We discussed that we needed to have people securely above the knot to make sure they would cross safely. However, we spent so much time talking about it that we got the one minute warning. At that point we were trying to get Diana up on the knot and then let her go, but we let time over ride guarantee and Diana said she could make it. We all let go and she jumped. She got part way dragged her ankle like I had done, but turned it very severely. She went to the ground and knew instantly that it was broken.
Pam came up immediately and put Diana’s head in her lap. A couple guys ran for ice and all the sudden we were all taking it seriously. We comforted Diana as best we could. She had the wisdom to instruct us to call 911. They came and braced her ankle and took her to the Utah Regional Hospital. It turned out that she broke both bones and required pins and a plate to put it back together. We went to lunch and talked things over as a group. We were all pretty serious at this point.
When we came back from lunch we did a brain teaser with Adam and then when Jamie and Doug got there they said we were ready for the next event. I said that was great as long as it wasn’t the perch. Of course, we went to the perch! I watched the first two people go up and volunteered to be next. I geared up, felt my fear and went for it. Climbing the spikes wasn’t too hard, but last time (20 years ago) when I had done this I got to the perch, was able to sit on it, but never was willing to try to stand and jump to the ring. Even though I’m over 100 lbs heavier I wanted to beat that. Douglas was particularly instrumental in talking with me before going up. He kept re-enforcing that I intended to do my best.
I got to the top spike but could not physically move my body over and on to the perch. I kept trying to get that right foot up (making some pretty ugly sounds in the attempt), but could never even get on to the perch. I had lots of encouragement from the group and at one point they realized that I had given it all that I had. Doug asked me to affirm that and then asked what I was jumping to. I had committed to climb in the face of fear and to jump to freedom. My arms and legs were jelly but I had enough left that the second time they counted me to three I jumped the best I could and let Adam belet me down. I got down to the bottom and they all recognized my effort with a big group hug and high fives.
Initially, I had a hard time congratulating myself, because I hadn’t done as good as the first time and had hoped to do even better. As I thought about it, though, I realized some major differences. The first time, when I got to the perch, it was all about how I looked. I sat there for quite awhile trying to look like I was taking in the scenery, but truly, scared to death. I was afraid to jump. Somehow I reached back to the belet rope and grabbed it and sort of fell down. There was lots of hesitation and fear, but I went as far as I did because I wanted to look good in front of my wife and the others there.
This time, I had just as much fear, but I started and kept going at a steady pace. When I got to the top I didn’t stop other than to gather it together for yet another umph. I tried mounting the perch several times until I couldn’t trust my legs and hands to hold me. At that point I decided to jump as best I could and finish the event. I jumped and they brought me down and everyone celebrated. Hours later I realized that the big difference was that I didn’t care what I looked like. I cared what I accomplished. M. Scott Peck, in People of the Lie, describes how we can do the exact same thing and come from two entirely different places. He called them Level 2 people and Level 4 people. The Level 2 people cared what they looked like; Level 4 people cared what was inside. In twenty plus years I had moved from that Level 2 person that I see as a hypocrite to that Level 4 person! I really did beat the perch, even though it may have looked otherwise to the outside spectator.
From the perch we moved over to do some trust exercises. First we took turns laying down with our eyes closed and, in silence, the rest of the group picked us up to their shoulders, then above their heads, holding us, then slowly lowering us back to the ground. I went about 4th and enjoyed the experience.
Next we moved to the trust fall. We were to climb up on a platform where we had a choice of a 3 ft ledge or a 6 ft one. I got up first and went for the tall one. When I got there and looked down it looked a lot higher than it had from the ground. I contemplated asking to go from the lower ledge. However, I remembered my commitment to make decisions and then go with them. I turned around, locked my hands, called out ready, to which they shouted back ready, then falling with their response of fall on. I immediately started leaning back and next thing I knew I was falling. They caught me with ease and then held me while each of them shared their feelings about me.
I then got to help with each of the others as they took their turn. Each one of us went from the taller ledge and stayed in the arms while we were held and talked to, than lowered to the ground.
From here they had us form a circle and close our eyes. They took us blindfolded around the area and eventually ended up back at the dragon’s lair, putting us on the initial platform for the 3rd time. This time we got what they meant about guaranteeing our results and took the whole experience seriously. We were going to get everyone across and save us ALL.
We got Pam across with the extra gold (I mean board, which she put behind the short platform. Next we went to work and figured out that we could use belts between the strands of the rope to form loops that we could put our feet in to keep us above the dragon dung. Each time someone committed to cross over, we held them and the rope until we knew that they would make it.
I got my foot in the stirrup and stood up holding on to the rope. I started to turn around but they were holding the rope and made sure I was aimed and let me go. On the other side I was caught and put on the board with Silvia and Pam, then we caught the remaining people. We were extremely crowed, but still had Mat to bring over. We positioned everyone and made sure we were stable then had Mat come over. We were able to hold him long enough to get a picture! We were all really grateful that we had the opportunity to try it again and figure it out. Then we found out that we had done it in 10 minutes; half the time we had taken to fail the first two times!
From there we went to our final event. Because our numbers were small they decided to have us do the log instead of the wall. The difference was that we had a large log fastened between two trees, parallel to the ground about 11 ft high. Our goal was to get each of us over it to the other side. Adam asked if any of us had any concerns. I raised my hand and shared that my arms and legs were jello and I wasn’t sure I could get up on my own and wasn’t sure if the group would be able to help me.
Adam listened and then we started the task! We decided to get Mat up on the log and help from above while we worked from below to get me up. In the meantime we had figured out that we could put belts around the log to use as pull ups. People volunteered to have me stand on them and get me up. We started working and got my hands to the top of the log, but then I slipped and came down. We talked some more and went for it again. I got my arms around the log and got one leg in to the pull up, but couldn’t get the other one up. I lost grip again and came down. At that point, part of me wanted to take me out of the equation so that they could succeed, but I got that they wanted to succeed with me, not without me, so we went up for the third time. We pushed up twice and then on the third push I got my leg over and we knew that we had made it.
After I fell to the other side (with kind arms catching me), they started bringing the others over. With what we had learned it was relatively easy to get the rest up and over until the last one. Douglas came last and jumped up to the belts and then pulled himself up to where the two guys on the log were able to support him and finish pulling him over. Success and I didn’t even have to find an excuse to exclude myself so that they could succeed without having to figure out how to get me over! Even more amazing to me, was that this new group of friends preferred it that way!
We finished with a little tree hugging exercise and a de-briefing. We walked over to Jamie’s car to sign a card for Diana and I rolled myself in to my car to drive home. When I got home every muscle in my body hurt; the big muscles a lot. Many steps had involuntary groans with them, but it was one of the best tired states I have ever felt. My right knee, in particular, caused some extreme pain, but I knew that I had done the best I could and have succeeded in making a decision and then stepping up to it! My day was an incredible success!
